Turmeric lattes. I know. I’m sorry. They’re tasty though!

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Well ok readers. I’ve been embarrassingly making turmeric lattes lately, which is something I never thought I’d say, especially in the new year when you might get the wrong impression that I am trying to cleanse myself from holiday overeating. Don’t get me wrong, I do NOT believe in detoxing or cleanses or whatever have you, that is not my style and I cannot find the science that says they work. Anywhere. However, the other day I forgot the word “chambray” and had to google “that denim fabric” and all of a sudden I became absolutely convinced my brain is on the downslope and I need to feed it turmeric every day for the rest of my life or it’ll shrivel away.

The other thing was that I was sick, and the only thing that dampens my deep desire for coffee in the morning is a bad head cold. But I still want something HOT and slightly fussy and I am not the world’s biggest non-caffeinated tea fan. These are akin to chai but without the caffeine and WITH that extra incentive of perhaps-turmeric-is-good-for-you-I-don’t-know-I’m-not-a-scientist. So I’m jumping on this anti-inflammatory bandwagon for a little bit, and at worst only to introduce some rhythmic dissonance into an otherwise very standard morning routine.

Of course I sought out goop, because who better to usher me into this ridiculous endeavor than my old pal GP. My coworker and I LOVE goop, we turn our chairs around and laugh and laugh and lauuugggh every time it drops into our inbox casually suggesting $495 workout clothes or using sexual puns for her app (g.spotting) or when Gwenny wants to be adorable and drops some cheap brand in there to appeal to the huddling masses. This particular recipe called for about $50 in herbal supplement powders, which I ignored the hell out of. I do not know what “tocos” is but despite its spelling it has nothing to do with tacos. Ok I just googled it and it apparently is “rice bran solubles.” No thanks, G!

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The only other thing of note despite this marking my permanent position as a San Franciscan climate protecting gay loving socialist tending vegan leather buying elitist is that I tried this with both fresh and powdered turmeric/ginger and I actually liked the powdered version better. Plus it makes it that much easier and you don’t have to turn all of your cutting boards yellow. Hurray for a small dose of reason in this wholly unreasonable new habit!

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GP’s Warming Morning Latte
adapted from goop

SERVES 1

1 tablespoon almond butter or sunflower butter
2 teaspoons honey (GP uses coconut sugar or some shit)
2 teaspoons coconut oil
½ teaspoon Sun Potion astragalus (NOPE)
½ teaspoon Sun Potion reishi (LOL)
1 tablespoon Sun Potion tocos (DID NOT)
⅛th teaspoon ground nutmeg
⅛th teaspoon ground cardamom
⅛th teaspoon ground cloves
⅛th teaspoon ground cinnamon
⅛th teaspoon ground ginger
½ teaspoon ground turmeric
1 pinch sea salt
1 large pinch black pepper
1 cup boiling water

Combine all the ingredients in a blender (I used my little soup immersion blender and it was fiiiiiine) and whir until well-blended and frothy.

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